Genesis chapter 2 “Ezer Kenegdo – A helper fit for”

(2 of 7 from the Biblical verses “condemning” homosexuality in the documentary Fish Out Of Water.)

Genesis chapter 2 is a fairly lengthy bit of text to be quoting, so I’ll give you a link to website where you can read it in it’s entirety (in several translation of the Bible) and give you a quick walk through of what happens in this chapter.

God creates Adam, the first human, but then decides that Adam is looking a little bit lonely in that big garden. So he decides to make a “helper suitable for him”. He makes all sorts of animals, birds, beasts and fish and Adam names each and every one of them, but none of them were suitable helpers for Adam.

So God, in what I can only assume was a fit of frustration, puts Adam into a deep sleep and yanks out a rib. From it he forms the first woman, who would be named Eve after the fall. (You notice that she doesn’t get her own name until she does something bad…).

Now here is where it gets interesting, because this verse is regularly used to prove that marriage should be between a man and a woman, but this verse proves no such thing. I want to first point out that it was only logical for the first pair of humans to be able to procreate naturally, because (as I said in my previous post) they were trying to populate a planet. Also, apparently Adam was straight…so necessarily a suitable helper would be female.

So that whole “It was Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve” argument is getting really played out guys. Why don’t you try something new.

The other thing I find interesting is the word used in the original Hebrew.

Rev. Frederick Neidner, Th.D.: The Phrase in Hebrew, the one that gets translated as “a helper fit for”, what it really says is

Dr. Amy Jill Levine: Ezer Kenegdo

Neidner: Ezer means ‘help’ and Kenegdo means ‘like unto it’, ‘corresponding to it’.

Levine: A helper like him. A helper as his mirror image.

Neidner: What it really says is there is a corresponding strength.

Levine: Somebody who mirrors back to the earthling his own humanity. Someone with whom that earthling can feel complete, can feel whole.

Neidner: It doesn’t mean servant or slave.

Levine: Helper does not mean someone who is subordinate.

Neidner: It’s most often a way to describe God.

Levine: God is our help.

Neidner: Like in the Psalms “My help comes from the Lord.” Well the word for help there is ‘Ezer’.


It seems to me that if God says it is not good for the human being to be alone, I will make that human being a helper – and it’s the human being who chooses who that helper is to be – then why, today, would we forbid gay and lesbian individuals from finding their own helper, from finding someone who completes them?

– Dr. Amy Jill Levine


Now we have to have marriage. Why marriage? Because it will cover their guilt. Now they can justify their sin, now they even would implicate god in their sin.

– Reverend David Ickes

Not unsurprisingly, Ickes has yet to grasp the concept that not everything in this world revolves around his religion or his shockingly narrow minded interpretation of Jesus life and teachings.

First of all, I feel no guilt. For what, exactly, am I supposed to feel guilt about? I don’t believe in your God, and even if I did, it’s quite obvious that many people in Christianity do not  believe that being gay is a sin. Why should any of the people fighting for same sex marriage feel guilty or feel that they are committing a sin?

Second. Why marriage? Well it’s, once again, not all because of your religion. I’ve had this argument a dozen times. The Christian religion does not hold some sort of patent on marriage (or on most of the ideas that make up Christianity for that matter). My wish to be able to get married has nothing do with guilt or sin or a wish to please some religious institution who thinks I shouldn’t have sex before marriage (that ship has sailed folks…) and everything to do with legal rights and protections that are given to married couples in the United States and abroad. If I produced that legal marriage certificate if my wife (should I ever have one) was in the hospital, I would be able to get access to her and the ability to make medical decisions for her, plus dozens of other benefits.

Marriage is important for us, but they make this relationship all about sex and when you’ve been in a relationship for a while, I mean, it’s not like your having sex twice a day. It’s about our home that we have together, it’s about the family we’re building together. It’s about the fact that when one of us gets upset we’re there to support each other.

Karen Rothstein-Pineda (with wife, Aurora Pineda)

That’s one other important thing to point out.

Sex is not always the key, binding point of a marriage (in fact, I would hope it isn’t).

I would like to believe that 10 years into a relationship my partner and I would still be having sex twice a day (and who knows, we might manage it. Depends on the woman I guess.) but that isn’t what marriage is about. Marriage is about finding that one person that completes you, who’s strengths correspond to your own, who you feel love and attraction to, your Ezer Kenegdo.

Eve was Adam’s, but that doesn’t mean that in a parallel universe that Steve was Adam’s Ezer Kenegdo. The fact that one story, a story mostly about populating a planet (see all the discussion of creation and the naming of animals and such), happened to be about a man and a women does not mean that God (if he exists) would condemn a man who finds his helper in another man, or a woman who finds her helper in another woman.

If God did create this planet, then we know that clearly loved variety. Why wouldn’t he want variety in the way human’s love as well?

And as a final note.

Why is what I do in the bedroom always the first thing people think about when I talk about gay marriage? When a heterosexual couple say they are getting married I don’t think about their sex life. I think about how the unlucky idiots are probably going to feel the need to buy a house and get a mortgage and and a mini-van and start having kids immediately. What they do in their bedroom is not even remotely my business, so why does the fact that I have sex with women make what I do in my bedroom your business?



    • Years ago, God brought me out of the New Age and into Jesus Christ – He did that and it was an awesome, beautiful experience- no people intervention. He’s taught me for years his word – and it is so real – if you truly want the truth, he’ll give it to you, and it won’t be up for debate. it will be a genuine joy knowing the creator of the universe takes time to teach you personally. What he taught me is his word is true. It is so clear – those that chose to forget about God, professing themselves to be wise, became fools….so God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonor their own bodies between themselves, who changed the truth of God into a lie; so for this reason, he gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: and likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men …he gave them over to a reprobate mind.” it goes on – this is from Romans chp 1. Now if you want a lie, there is a destroyer of your soul that will make sure of it – there is satan who wants you to lose your soul eternally. Now you can choose to live off your own philosophies about it all, and your own opinions, be deceived by the deceiver – or you can let God himself teach you – it will be the most amazing relationship you could ever want. There are a lot of people lying about it – I thank God he rescued me from that! Ezer – she is the one who supports Adam in strength, love, victory, is a sustainer. Kenegdo – she opposes him when he opposes God. when he opposes God he doesn’t love Eve or care for her soul.

      • You are free to believe anything you want to, believe in whatever you think God has told you. You could believe that God created Unicorns that bleed glitter and I wouldn’t care.

        However, what you believe is a different concept from what is written. My intent in these posts is to lay out what the actual language of the Bible says and what it means in the context of the language, time period, and culture. My posts are accurate. If that troubles you and doesn’t sync with what you believe God meant, that’s your business.

        My issue is people saying “The bible says this and so homosexuality is an abomination” when it doesn’t say what they claim it does.

  1. Also, I’ve seen Adam and Eve mentioned as a model of why marriage should be between one man and one woman, even though polygamy was very common throughout the Bible. According to some interpretations, Adam might have even had two different wives.

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