Time for another glitter-bombing post.

Back to my roots, complaining about the liberal gay left.

Also Occupy Wall Street/any city they can get to, because they seem to be doing a bit of the glitter slinging these days as well.

I’ve talked about glitter bombing before, but I thought it was time for another go at it, since people still seem to consider it a good way to deal with their issues….instead of, y’know, actually having civilized discussions.

Because throwing things was so helpful in solving disputes in kindergarten. *eye roll*

So last time I talked, it was mostly about how childish the concept of throwing glitter at your opponents makes you look.

But I’ve changed my mind (don’t faint, it happens). It still makes you look irreparably stupid, but there is nothing childish about it.

Nothing is childish about assault.

Yes, you heard me right. Glitter bombing is assault.

Here is the definition of assault.



  1. In criminal and tort law, an act, usually consisting of a threat or attempt to inflict bodily injury upon another person, coupled with the apparent present ability to succeed in carrying out the threat or the attempt if not prevented, that causes the person to have a reasonable fear or apprehension of immediate harmful or offensive contact. No intent to cause battery or the fear or apprehension is required so long as the victim is placed in reasonable apprehension or fear. No actual physical injury is needed to establish an assault, but if there is any physical contact, the act constitutes both an assault and a battery.
  2. In criminal law, in some states, the term includes battery and attempted battery.
  3. Any attack .
  4. The act of inflicting bodily injury upon another. See also mayhem.

The parts in bold are what I want you to look at.

Sure you didn’t mean to glitter in that senator/aid/candidate/judge’s eye. You didn’t mean to lacerate their cornea or cause major injury or disability.

But you still did…or you risk doing so with every handful of glitter that you throw.

[A] Washington, D.C., optometrist warns that it is possible to injure someone with glitter.

“If it gets into the eyes, the best scenario is it can irritate, it can scratch. Worst scenario is it can actually create a cut,” Stephen Glasser told The Hill. He also noted that breathing glitter into your nose and sinuses could cause an infection.


So it’s not childish. It’s criminal.

As 20 year old intern, Peter Smith, found out last Tuesday.

Tuesday’s glitter bombing, however, is different. The student who tossed the glitter was charged with “throwing a missile” and “unlawful acts on campus grounds.” If convicted, 20-year-old Peter Smith could face up to 6 months in jail and a $1,000 fine.

Smith, who was working as an unpaid intern for the Colorado Senate Democrats, was promptly fired and also faced possible expulsion from University of Colorado Denver. Although UCD chose to take no disciplinary action, Smith still faces the other charges.

Indiana Daily Student

The IDS paper is calling the charges “a little disproportionate.”

Claiming that being fired was appropriate, but expulsion and jail time/a fine was a punishment unfit to the crime.

One has to wonder…would they be so tolerant if this was another situation.

Here’s one for you.

My school gets a lot of these “street preachers” who show up with megaphones and stupid t-shirts and big signs quoting Biblical verses (all out of context) that talk about hellfire and damnation. I’m not impressed by this…I grew up in the Southern Baptist church. I cut my teeth on fire and brimstone preaching.

However, what if this group took things a step farther. What if, instead of just shouting abuse at us, they started throwing pamphlets at us and spraying super-soakers filled holy water on the students.

Pamphlets can give people paper cuts and certainly carry the danger of cutting someone in a dangerous place…like…I don’t know…the eye.

A super-soaker on campus could, similarly, have bad results.

So, we could legitimately claim this as assault. It fits the legal definition I quoted in enough ways to make that feasible.

So would these same writers feel it was “disproportionate” to charge the speakers, with their loud protests about how being gay and masturbating will send you to hell, with assault?


I don’t know, but I have a feeling that they would be fine with it.

And just for reference. Here is the golden rule again. (I’ve quoted it before)

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

If you would appreciate a handful of glitter in your face, a slashed cornea, and a painkiller/eye-patch fashion combo, then, by all means, keep throwing glitter at people.

If you would appreciate Bible’s being thrown at you because you are gay, and the street preachers thought that physical violence would change that, then, by all means, keep assaulting others to get them to change their opinions.

If, however, you realize how much you would not appreciate either one of those things.

Then please, give it a rest, put down the craft box, screw the lid back on the glitter container, and go write a blog or something.