Don’t Start Something You Can’t Finish

“You cannot invade the mainland United States. There would be a rifle behind every blade of grass.” Don’t try to nuke us either, that just pisses us off. 

That’s my warning to Kim Jong Il 2.0 who is currently running North Korea.

In case you missed it, this morning he all but declared war on the United States, unless threatening to launch a nuclear missile at the United States was a euphemism for something else.

I really think that we need to drop hundreds of copies of the Red Dawn remake on the country and let them know that if they try what they are thinking of they will probably get spanked by a bunch of teenagers. Not very glorious if you ask me.

North Korea threatened the United States on Thursday with a preemptive nuclear strike, raising the level of rhetoric just before the U.N. Security Council approved new sanctions against the reclusive country.

U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations Susan Rice said North Korea’s threats would achieve nothing and would only further isolate the country.

North Korea has accused the United States of using military drills in South Korea as a launch pad for a nuclear war and has scrapped the armistice with Washington that ended hostilities in the 1950-53 Korean War.

North Korea, which has one major ally, neighboring China, threatens the United States and its “puppet,” South Korea, on an almost daily basis.

“Since the United States is about to ignite a nuclear war, we will be exercising our right to preemptive nuclear attack against the headquarters of the aggressor in order to protect our supreme interest,” the North’s foreign ministry spokesman said in a statement carried by the official KCNA news agency.

Reuters

First of all….huh?

This wimpy progressive administration is planning to ignite a nuclear war? I thought North Korea believing in unicorns or that Kim Jong Il invented the hamburger was the height of their stupidity. Now they took a sharp right turn off the highway of “relatively insane” and dived head first into “batshit crazy conspiracy theorist” territory.

Luckily we can feel safe knowing that the UN unanimously passed a security council resolution to put more sanctions on North Korea. I’m sure that will be super effective! *eye roll*

Because North Korea has paid such close attention to the UN’s sanctions before.

Though I do feel it is hilarious that China’s ambassador to the UN (Chine being one of North Korea’s few allies) was the one who drafted these sanctions along with the United States.

 

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