Not the Face! (AKA: Beating Your Wives As Allah Commanded)

Cleric Abd Al-Rahman Mansour who also thinks it's fine to beat your wife under certain circumstances.  How about...NO!

Here’s another cleric who thinks it’s fine to beat your wife under certain circumstances.
How about…NO!

A good general rule for most people who are beating their wives, avoid the face.*

This helps to ensure that your neighbors don’t call the cops and strangers in the supermarket don’t look at you judgmentally or try to give your wife the number for a shelter for battered women. Wouldn’t want her getting ideas after all.

It also has the added benefit of keeping you in favor with Allah. Even if you aren’t a Muslim, you’ll be doing the multicultural thing and that’s just politically correct and polite.


Okay, I can’t keep this up. I was going to go for a full tongue-in-cheek post about wife beating, but I really just can’t even go there with that.

This post is in reaction to this little video that the Middle East Media Research Institute released on July 31st.

Egyptian Cleric Mahmoud Al-Denawy gives instructions on how to properly beat your wife in retaliation for disobedience from her.

It involves helpful tips, such as “don’t beat her harshly” and “don’t hit the face” because the face belongs to Allah (only he gets to hit his bitches there, understand?). Also, what a relief, beatings should not result in the breaking of “her arm or a tooth”.

Yes, that’s very progressive. I’m glad we understand the rules of what type of beating is acceptable.

Oh right, the cleric also says that beating with the hand is unacceptable, but you are allowed to use “something very simple – like a siwak [dental stick] or something like this pen”.

Let me explain to you “moderate” Muslims in Europe who this cleric is speaking too.

Actually to all Muslims.

That is still beating your wife. That is still abuse.

If I have a girlfriend or wife and she is disobedient or has bad behavior (or I’m just in a bad mood) and I hit her with a pen or a stick or anything as “punishment” for her actions, that’s abuse.

She’s an adult human being, not a dog, not a 3 year old who can’t comprehend a conversation on why their actions are wrong. Even if it was your right to tell a woman what to do (which is assumed by the fact that she’s being “disobedient”. She must have disobeyed your orders.) hitting her is not an appropriate response.

Which brings me to my second point.

You are both adults, presumably. You may not like something your wife does, but that does not mean you have the right to stop her. She’s not your child, not your possession, and she’s not a pet. You can have an adult conversation with her where you express your wish that she not continue doing a behavior (just as she can you) be it anything from smoking to going out with her friends until 2am every night and partying.

She can choose to not do the thing that upsets you or not. Either way, you have no right to hit her with anything because of her decision. You only have control over your own actions, you can walk out on her or choose to passive agressively get back at her by not putting your clothes in the hamper or always cooking her steak well-done or whatever behavior aggravates her, but abuse of any kind is never acceptable.

In short, if your religion still has clerics in the 21st century explaining the “acceptable” way to beat your wife for disobedience, you are still misogynistic, abusive assholes, as is your god.

This doesn’t make you look better and it doesn’t negate the point the non-believers and infidels have when we tell you your religions sucks because it encourages you to beat women, because even your clerics admit it does. The size of the stick doesn’t change the message.

*I am not endorsing spousal abuse, I’m being sarcastic.