An Open Letter to John McCain: Oh My God, Get Out of My State!

Dear McCain,

A little bird told me that you might not be backing down from running for your Senate seat in 2016. I’m here to ask you to please excuse yourself from the political conversation in our state.

No one likes you.

You are old, you are senile, and you sell out conservatism every chance you get.

Come out of the closet already and admit you are a Democrat, you’ll feel much better, I swear.

Or don’t, I don’t really care what you do, as long as you stop trying to pretend you represent conservative ideals.

I personally don’t think anyone could have beat Obama in 2008, but it must have been some collective delusion or some extreme blonde moment that led Republicans to choosing you as the candidate.

I hate to tell you this, but you’ve been “one of these old guys that should’ve shoved off” for a goddamn long time.

In April of this year your approval ratings in the great state of Arizona were abysmal. 67% of those polled we need someone new in office.  Only 21% thought you deserved another term and your job approval rating was at the lowest it’s been in 21 years. 

Stick a fork in yourself, because you are done.

Liberals are the ones defending you now and you’d rather concentrate on your poker app than on important issues of foreign policy. We didn’t send you to Washington to play games and crack jokes about after you get caught. This isn’t just your job, it’s the future of the United States. It’s shameful that you would be so irresponsible.

You think that supporting the constitution passionately makes someone a “whacko bird” and you’d rather be at dinner with Obama than representing the interests of your constituents. You’re from Arizona, a red state populated by people that don’t appreciate your attempts to sell freedom down the river in order to win brownie points with the administration.

Oh and your daughter isn’t doing your reputation any favors.

In short, please “shove off”, because I promise that I and many other fellow Arizonans will make your next campaign a huge embarrassment for you. We don’t need or want a power hungry, opportunistic, fake Republican representing our state.

Sincerely NOT yours,

Most of the State of Arizona

Advertisements

6 Comments

  1. Pingback: Sunday Links: Facebook Friends Pic Edition Volume 85 - Conservative Hideout 2.0

  2. I told people in 2008 that if they absolutely MUST vote for a Democrat, they should vote McCain. That was a most disappointing year, overall. Sarah Palin (whom I like) was a brief shining star, but not enough to curb the overall depression of that election season.

  3. Pingback: I apologize for accidentally encouraging John McCain to run for President again. | Damn Straight Politics

Comments are closed.