Successful Women Fall in Love All the Time (AKA: Sounds like a personal problem Amy Glass)

“Successful Women Don’t Fall in Love” by Amy Glass.

I knew the article was link bait when I clicked it, that didn’t stop me from clicking it though.

So then, why isn’t this piece titled “Successful PEOPLE Don’t Fall In Love?”

Because, when men fall in love, they get a wife. When women fall in love they get a husband. Despite idealism, the reality of these two paths is very disparate. For men, falling in love is an asset, for women it is a sentence to hard labor. I have no interest in marrying a woman, but I would love to have a wife. They cook and clean for you, remind you when it’s your mother’s birthday, and shoulder all the biggest burdens when it comes to raising kids. Hell, my ideal relationship would be if my husband and I could have a wife so we could both be supported without having to deal with all that minutiae ourselves.

 

Women respond to me when I talk like this saying, “oh, my boyfriend is progressive, he’s not like THAT.” I don’t mean stating my personal preference to be an insult, but it’s not the truth they relay during any other conversation about their relationship, even if they don’t use those words. We’re kind of brainwashed to take care of other people, and make them happy and for me, being single is kind of an armor guarding against whatever cultural or biological intuitions are telling me, as a woman, to be self-sacrificial.

Let’s say you want to have a husband and kids and a job that pays enough for you to be comfortable. That’s an achievable dream for most of my peers, the upkeep of a relationship with an easy to moderate job can work for a woman. You can balance. However, there’s people like me who don’t like middle ground, it’s not for everyone. I don’t want to be a latte, I want to be an espresso. I want all of something, or I don’t want it at all.

I want success. I want to be truly great at something. Being great at something requires sacrifice and focus. Like, when you close your eyes and your hearing improves. Obviously it’s possible, and for the vast majority of people, preferable to see and hear at the same time. But when it’s truly important, you’ll sacrifice one for the other. I caught a reality show the other day where a guy was asking his girlfriend to start a rule where three nights a week she would be done with work for the night by 5pm. THREE times a week. 5pm. That’s insane for people who are trying to build something big.

So now I’m pissed off about and I need to rant.

A latte is made with espresso you moron.

Okay, that was rude, but I had to start off the with most obviously dumb comment in your article and work my way down.

You say “I don’t want to be a latte, I want to be an espresso. I want all of something, or I don’t want it at all.” This is a dumb statement. Why? Because a latte is an espresso, with a little something extra. That’s what being in love, on top of having a career, is.

Espresso by itself, everyday, is bitter and will probably give you heart burn. That steamed milk in the latte is just there to cut the edge off the bitterness.

Unfortunately, you let the espresso everyday regimen make you permanently bitter and take you to a place that is both deluded and lonely.

Sadly Amy Glass is living in a delusional world where she sees all relationships as fitting some nostalgic 1950s archetype…that mostly didn’t exist even in the 1950s. Married women (or single women for that matter) were not all chained to a stove, forced to “hard labor” for their husband, wearing dresses and heels and pearls and getting dinner on the table by 6pm when their loving husband returned from work.

Women didn’t work as much as women today do, but they did work outside of the home.*

But somehow this is the image of marriage that Amy Glass had created for herself.

I would love to have a wife. They cook and clean for you, remind you when it’s your mother’s birthday, and shoulder all the biggest burdens when it comes to raising kids.

I can count on one hand the number of friends I had whose mother fit this stereotype over all the years I have lived. My own parents (married 40+ years) have never fit this stereotype in my memory. Not only do my parents share cooking and cleaning duty, but my father has always had an equal share of the burden in raising my sister, my brother, and I.

You know how successful my mom is? My mom has a doctorate and her own optometry practice.

You know when she got that doctorate?

After she got married, between her first and second child. She was pregnant with me when she was going to school for her degree and I was born before she graduated.

Who exactly does Amy Glass think was caring for me while my mom was at graduate school? Some nursemaid, like something out of the 18th century?

No, it was my dad.

Having a husband and children didn’t make her less successful, it made her more successful. She went to school to better herself, to become successful.

Would my mother have gone to optometry school without a family to spur her on? I have no idea. The point is that she did and she also got married.

I do know that having someone to share your burdens, to be the steamed milk in your espresso at the end of the day, is worth the occasional “sacrifices” that come with a relationship. Someone is there to carry the burdens with you and help you succeed and be the loudest cheerleader on your team, whether you are a man or a woman. Someone who takes care of you when your health is bad or you get laid off.

And fine, maybe you think that you would not be as successful if you were married, that’s alright. You clearly realize you lack the ability to multi-task and I won’t judge you for that.

But to claim that “successful women don’t fall in love” is to write off any woman who falls in love and gets married as being incapable of being successful, which is a blatant falsehood that just shows how little facts play into Glass’ view of reality.

Of the top 25 on the “100 most successful women” list on Forbes, 92% were either currently married or divorced or widowed. 76% were currently married. Only 8% were single and had never been married.

Successful women don’t get married?

Bullshit.

Just like your article.

_____________________________

*Of course you have to consider that more women work today because our economy dictates a need for two income households. My mom WOULD have been a SAHM, by her own choice, if our family could have survived on my dad’s salary.

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16 Comments

  1. I’m just annoyed in general with the stigma against housewives. My Mom is a housewife and, as my Uncle once described, “one hell of a woman”. I daresay she’s worked harder her whole life than my Dad; cooking, cleaning, raising children. It’s not fucking easy, and though Dad helped sometimes, a lot of times he didn’t. And my Mom wasn’t always a housewife; she worked before having children, and after she had her first child. She quit working when she had her second kid, because she wanted to devote her time to these children. Being a good homemaker and a good caretaker (she was a hell of a lot more compassionate than my father, though she can be close-minded, stubborn and unreasonable at times) IS being successful. Amy Glass is obviously a classic feminazi that doesn’t realize just how hard being a mother can be.

    • She wrote another article all about how she doesn’t respect women who get married and have kids, because it’s so average that “anyone can do it” and it’s just enough to make me scream.
      But pretending that getting married just makes a women incapable of having a career makes me want to strangle her.

  2. Wow, complete and total crap. I hate people like this. As someone from the left, I commonly get associated with this kind of moronic BS. Excellent dissection. When she made the latte/espresso comparison I nearly passed out.

    And her stupid “I look down on stay at home moms” article was beyond offensive. I am working on a response to it. Gosh.

  3. Success is also how an individual defines it for themselves. Since I gave up my career to stay home with my kids, am I no longer successful? Does the fact that I am learning more, more challenged and personally growing more mean nothing because I no longer make six figures and lost my title? I can get the salary and title back, In fact I can get a bigger and better one if I want to, but I will only have babies for a short time. I chose to stay home. It was a conscious decision. I’m not just making the best of it, doing my husbands bidding or feel like I conformed to societal pressures. It’s what I wanted for myself. Marriage and kids aren’t for everyone, but to cast women in such stereotypical roles just shows she has a very limited worldview.

  4. Loved reading this! The latte/espresso part was so spot on. I’m not sure if you are still following her other posts, but it may interest you to know that “Amy Glass” is most likely a troll profile created by Thought Catalog Producer Chrissy Stockton. Interesting that she commented on this article too…

      • Look me up on twitter (@lbshop), I tweeted a few of the most significant things that point to Chrissy being amy. Including a photo I found on her personal fb page showing the exact same view/balcony as the one on “amy glass'” profile pic. Plus, she has remained totally silent any time anyone has directly asked her about it so far. I’m convinced it’s her.

  5. I think she’s ugly and that’s why she has brainwashed herself that SHE couldn’t be successful if she gets married. After all,We all know marrisa mayers and beyonce. Feminist troubles.

  6. I’m really getting tired of people downplaying the accomplishments of my family. My mother not only got married, but she was a *gasp* stay at home mom. She raised three boys who now have families of their own. My wife decided to stay home after our first childnwas born. I’m not sure what planet Amy lives on but this is neither easy or commonplace (not anymore). How dare she suggest that the women I love the most are weak or somehow less than her. Raising a human being is totally easy; anyone can do that. But writing an insane feminist blog with ideas that well outside the realm of reality… That makes you special. Sounds legit, Amy.

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