13 Year Olds Are Idiots: Why You Should Ignore CJ Pearson

If you are 13, you are an idiot. I don’t care if you have an eidetic memory, an IQ of 210, and you’ve solved P versus NP.

You are an idiot.

All 13 year olds should be wearing one of these.

All 13 year olds should be wearing one of these.

This isn’t personal, just the truth.

You are 13, you don’t know shit about the world around you and that isn’t going to change much for the next several years.

That’s actually a good thing. Enjoy it while it lasts kid, because one day you’ll wake up and discover the real world and it kinda actually sucks.

But no, really, it's like that. Stay young while you can children.

But no, really, it’s like that. Stay young while you can children.

I was also an idiot at 13. I was a know it all punk who would have put Hermione Granger to shame. Any time a memory from the age of 13 (up until 17 really) pops up in my mind I cringe and think “Why didn’t someone slap me? Better yet, can I travel back in time and slap myself?”

My one saving grace is that no one listened to me, published my inane ramblings, and there was very little social media to document my awful ignorant self for future reference (the few forms of social media I had at that age have been meticulous scrubbed from existence, don’t bother looking). Which means, of course, that the only people who know the true depth of the horror that was 13 year old Meredith, are myself, my family, and a few select friends. Anyone else has likely forgotten and my youthful stupidity won’t effect my life overly much in the future.

I bring this all up for a reason.

CJ Pearson is an obnoxious little 13 year old shit and, while conservative media is partially at fault for creating that obnoxious little shit, it’s too be expected.

He’s exactly what 13 year old know it all twerps are supposed to be, just on a far grander scale because conservatives can be complete dunderheads when it comes to choosing spokespeople for our party.

It really really was not.

It really really was not.

We gave this little shit a pulpit and then when voice dropped he betrayed us, as teenagers do, by completely changing his personality and making poor decisions.

Unlike most 13 year olds, his bad decisions are supporting a socialist rather than just staying out past curfew or skipping class, but still…typical ignorant behavior.

Luckily enough I don’t find myself in the uncomfortable position of having supported him at one point in the past. I always knew he was a ignorant little shit, even when he was pushing ideas that fell on our side of the aisle.

I didn’t know who he was until my mother sent me a link to some video he made, probably 6 months ago. I was waist deep in research and interviews for my book on minority conservatives and my mom thought I should try to interview him. 

“Mom, he’s 13.” 

“But you’re interviewing young conservatives.”

“Yeah, like 18 to 26 year olds, old enough to actually know what the hell they are talking about.”

“Well he seems to know what he’s talking about.”

“He hasn’t even hit puberty yet, he obviously doesn’t know what he’s talking about. I’m not interviewing him and putting him in my book only to have to print an embarrassing retraction later when he changes his mind as soon as his voice drops.”

Puberty is where everything goes wrong quite frankly.

Puberty is where everything goes wrong quite frankly.

I’m clearly prophetic, but that’s not important.

I’m only writing this because of the exchange that S.E. Cupp has had with him on Twitter recently, otherwise I’d be ignoring him the way I ignore all 13 year olds on social media. Now I love S.E. Cupp (In fact I may have a bit of a girl crush on her. Sorry S.E., I know you are happily married and have a child, but I can’t hide my feelings.) but she seriously needs to just disengage and ignore the twerp, the same way she (and every other conservative) should have when he was posting conservative commentary.

You are arguing with a 13 year old. I don’t think the logic centers of his brain have even finished developing yet. He definitely doesn’t have the real world experience to know why he’s an idiot. Let the little shit figure it out for himself, the way the rest of us former 13 year olds had too, time and experience. 

Just own up to the fact that conservatives made a giant ridiculous mistake in putting him on a pedestal in the first place and move on.

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He’ll grow up eventually, but for the next 5 years or so…block him and treat his posts and tweets with the derision and dismissal you would any other social media post by a 13 year old.

When he’s 25 I hope he’s able to look back at his well documented history of being an obnoxious little shit and think, “Why didn’t someone slap me? Better yet, can I travel back in time and slap myself?” It will be even worse for him, because his every stupid thought will be there, glaring at him from his Internet history, rather than just vague embarrassing memories that he recalls at 2am and obsesses about for the rest of the night. 

Pearson in 5 to 10 years.

Pearson in 5 to 10 years.

He doesn’t have anything worth listening too and he definitely isn’t worth the time you’ll spend arguing with him.

And finally, if you find yourself siding with a 13 year old on political issues, over actual intelligent men and women who actually know what they are talking about…you need help.

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