13 Year Olds Are Idiots: Why You Should Ignore CJ Pearson

If you are 13, you are an idiot. I don’t care if you have an eidetic memory, an IQ of 210, and you’ve solved P versus NP.

You are an idiot.

All 13 year olds should be wearing one of these.

All 13 year olds should be wearing one of these.

This isn’t personal, just the truth.

You are 13, you don’t know shit about the world around you and that isn’t going to change much for the next several years.

That’s actually a good thing. Enjoy it while it lasts kid, because one day you’ll wake up and discover the real world and it kinda actually sucks.

But no, really, it's like that. Stay young while you can children.

But no, really, it’s like that. Stay young while you can children.

I was also an idiot at 13. I was a know it all punk who would have put Hermione Granger to shame. Any time a memory from the age of 13 (up until 17 really) pops up in my mind I cringe and think “Why didn’t someone slap me? Better yet, can I travel back in time and slap myself?”

My one saving grace is that no one listened to me, published my inane ramblings, and there was very little social media to document my awful ignorant self for future reference (the few forms of social media I had at that age have been meticulous scrubbed from existence, don’t bother looking). Which means, of course, that the only people who know the true depth of the horror that was 13 year old Meredith, are myself, my family, and a few select friends. Anyone else has likely forgotten and my youthful stupidity won’t effect my life overly much in the future.

I bring this all up for a reason.

CJ Pearson is an obnoxious little 13 year old shit and, while conservative media is partially at fault for creating that obnoxious little shit, it’s too be expected.

He’s exactly what 13 year old know it all twerps are supposed to be, just on a far grander scale because conservatives can be complete dunderheads when it comes to choosing spokespeople for our party.

It really really was not.

It really really was not.

We gave this little shit a pulpit and then when voice dropped he betrayed us, as teenagers do, by completely changing his personality and making poor decisions.

Unlike most 13 year olds, his bad decisions are supporting a socialist rather than just staying out past curfew or skipping class, but still…typical ignorant behavior.

Luckily enough I don’t find myself in the uncomfortable position of having supported him at one point in the past. I always knew he was a ignorant little shit, even when he was pushing ideas that fell on our side of the aisle.

I didn’t know who he was until my mother sent me a link to some video he made, probably 6 months ago. I was waist deep in research and interviews for my book on minority conservatives and my mom thought I should try to interview him. 

“Mom, he’s 13.” 

“But you’re interviewing young conservatives.”

“Yeah, like 18 to 26 year olds, old enough to actually know what the hell they are talking about.”

“Well he seems to know what he’s talking about.”

“He hasn’t even hit puberty yet, he obviously doesn’t know what he’s talking about. I’m not interviewing him and putting him in my book only to have to print an embarrassing retraction later when he changes his mind as soon as his voice drops.”

Puberty is where everything goes wrong quite frankly.

Puberty is where everything goes wrong quite frankly.

I’m clearly prophetic, but that’s not important.

I’m only writing this because of the exchange that S.E. Cupp has had with him on Twitter recently, otherwise I’d be ignoring him the way I ignore all 13 year olds on social media. Now I love S.E. Cupp (In fact I may have a bit of a girl crush on her. Sorry S.E., I know you are happily married and have a child, but I can’t hide my feelings.) but she seriously needs to just disengage and ignore the twerp, the same way she (and every other conservative) should have when he was posting conservative commentary.

You are arguing with a 13 year old. I don’t think the logic centers of his brain have even finished developing yet. He definitely doesn’t have the real world experience to know why he’s an idiot. Let the little shit figure it out for himself, the way the rest of us former 13 year olds had too, time and experience. 

Just own up to the fact that conservatives made a giant ridiculous mistake in putting him on a pedestal in the first place and move on.

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He’ll grow up eventually, but for the next 5 years or so…block him and treat his posts and tweets with the derision and dismissal you would any other social media post by a 13 year old.

When he’s 25 I hope he’s able to look back at his well documented history of being an obnoxious little shit and think, “Why didn’t someone slap me? Better yet, can I travel back in time and slap myself?” It will be even worse for him, because his every stupid thought will be there, glaring at him from his Internet history, rather than just vague embarrassing memories that he recalls at 2am and obsesses about for the rest of the night. 

Pearson in 5 to 10 years.

Pearson in 5 to 10 years.

He doesn’t have anything worth listening too and he definitely isn’t worth the time you’ll spend arguing with him.

And finally, if you find yourself siding with a 13 year old on political issues, over actual intelligent men and women who actually know what they are talking about…you need help.

That Time a Fashion Magazine Award Show Made People Lose Their Goddamn Minds

There are actually people who care who's awarded this giant glass duracell?

There are actual people who care who gets awarded this giant glass duracell?

Glamour Magazine, a British fashion magazine that I have never heard of before last month, apparently has a yearly “Glamour Awards”, which I had also never heard of before last month.

Suddenly it is the only goddamn thing anyone can talk about on social media. All because Caitlyn Jenner was given their “Woman of the Year” award this year. Mostly because of headlines announcing that the husband of a 2001 Award winner, Moira Smith (who died in the World Trade Center attacks on September 11th), was returning the award she was given posthumously.

This means that I then felt the need to look up this stupid award and find out more about it.

What I found has left me rolling my eyes so hard that I’m shocked they didn’t pop right out and roll across the floor, where they would have been summarily turned into a chew toy by one of my cats.

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SPECTRE: The Least Misogynistic Bond of Craig’s Run

James-BondsDaniel Craig made huge and outraged headlines when he stated that James Bond was a misogynist in a recent interview. Now I could go on and on about how his statement proves that an actor clearly doesn’t need to understand the character they are playing as long as the script and director are good, because he clearly does not understand his own character’s psychology and motiviations, but I won’t.

Instead let’s talk about SPECTRE, the latest in Craig’s Bond oeuvre, and why it is a film that makes Craig’s statements (especially while doing interviews for this film) completely ridiculous.

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Is Marco Rubio Pulling a Peter Gibbons?

If I had a few days I’d love to drag out the productivity numbers for members of the Freedom Caucus, but since I’m not going to waste that much time, let’s just say they’re less than stellar. Like my Mother’s Morkie who barks a lot but hasn’t done a darn thing to actually heighten her level of protection; additionally, their constant yipping has also become as annoying as her dog. Maybe more. Back to the point, the conservative PACs who function in the wake of their rebel cause have added padding to the wallets of a lot of “grassroots” consulting firms.

So I guess that’s a feather they can shove in their cap.

Read the rest: Is Marco Rubio Pulling a Peter Gibbons?

Conservatives – Almost as many flavors as Baskin Robbins

But this doesn’t actually solve the inherent question of what is a conservative? There might have been a day we listed off a devotion to certain cardinal virtues, or perhaps listed off things such as a dedication to capitalism, natural rights, limited government, federalism, and deliberate reasoned and careful change…but nowadays there are people who oppose all those things calling themselves REAL conservatives…and they’re not getting laughed out of every building they walk into.

So rather than fight an uphill battle that our brand of “conservative” is the only true conservatism, we’ll deal in reality (a distinctly conservative trait, or at least it used to be) and admit that the word “conservative” no longer has anything resembling one single meaning. And with that comes the need to define all the flavors of “conservative” out there.

Now for this we decided to group conservatives by three main categories, Economic Issues, Foreign Policy and Social Issues (and admit there is another category needed because some of these “conservatives” don’t really care that much about policy).

Read the rest: Conservatives – Almost as many flavors as Baskin Robbins

The Trials and Tribulations of Being a Single, Gay Conservative

So I wrote this a while back for another blog series on conservative dating, but I recently found out the website where it was hosted is no longer active…it took me a while to find my rough draft to repost it.

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I have been single for that last three years. Before that I was single for nearly a year. Before that…well let’s just say there is a pattern.

Make no mistake, I’m not defined by who I date and I don’t need a relationship to complete my life. I have plenty of great friends that I would not trade for the world, but friends can’t fill in every gap left by being single.

I’m not talking about sex, get your mind out of the gutter. Y’all need Jesus.

There are so many ways that a romantic relationship is beneficial to a person, but for some people it’s really hard to find “the one” that we were promised by every Disney movie we grew up with.

I’m not single by choice, I would certainly like to have a long term relationship, but being a conservative has really killed my love life.

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